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beetlecurve
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6th-Jun-2016 03:51 pm - Cross-Country Move 4/27 - 6/1
The suv was jam-packed from beneath the spare tire to the upper corner of the back window. Winston occupied the backseat, and Leo occupied my lap. The drive was a long haul to say the least. We left for transit to Seattle, WA; stopping in Baton Rouge, LA for 3 days, Wichita Falls, TX for a night, Gallup, NM for a night, Grand Canyon, NM for a night, Las Vegas, NV for a night (been there, seen it, over it), and onto Salt Lake City, UT for a weekend. We finally touched down in Blackfoot, ID for a week and a half, and alas, arrived in Seattle, WA after visiting Couer D'Alene, ID and staying the night in Spokane, WA. The drive into Seattle was a long one and the rest of the day turned into a catastrophe shortly after. The apartment that already had a $300 application fee and move-in date of that Friday was no longer available. After being on the road from April 27th to May 17th, a place to call home was the main objective. Finding a place to live in Seattle, WA is not EASY. Many apartments have month-long waiting lists and houses to rent are nearly impossible to snag. So, after staying a night in a hotel, 2 nights in a state park cabin, 3 more nights in a hotel, followed by a weekend in an AirBnB home, the new apartment was finally available. The carpet had just been changed, so the home smelled of chemicals, which in turn: killed approximately 45% of my brain cells for 3 days. In the midst of all of these happenings, there were important phone calls, quick shopping visits, interviewing, paying lots and lots of money for parking, traffic galore, and a weekend followed by movers carrying a multitude of boxes with every single item wrapped in 10 sheets of tissue paper. Did I mention the night before the movers came, an entire fish aquarium was setup, wood stained BLACK on the 10x4 ft patio, and also smelled of enough chemicals to kill approximately 25% more brain cells for the upcoming weekend. Tears were shed of being overwhelmed and stressed to the max between doubling-up of interviews and the anxiousness that followed.
950 square feet is now occupied and fairly organized for the most part. I go on my 3rd interview tomorrow with the same company. I miss the Grand Canyon and can't wait to go back. Reality waits on the nearer horizon and that looks good too. Money and routine is something that has been missed for some time now.
Today has been a day of electronic repair. I, for the first time, successfully took apart my laptop, to then reassemble it, and it is now working. I don't think I will place my laptop in jeopardy of a fall anymore from here on out. It will have a home. Tomorrow I am going to Verizon to get a new cellphone. The flip phone I've had for 8-something-odd months has finally had it. Well actually, the issue lies within the charger, but for texting sake (because it half receives texts), I'm going to bite the bullet... OR I may go checkout EBay. I need a new laptop and a new cellphone.
My life is being remolded. I go now into peace.
11th-Apr-2016 08:01 pm - Cat Man of Key West
Key West Cat Man floats on the pier~
prancing around MOO- HA HA
His eyes light up the spectators.
The cats come out, intensely staring, they make their move.
Pounce! The crowd ooh's, "Clap, clap, clap" the master shouts.
He jokes, the cats love it as they sit in their pride.
The kids love it, the adults are entranced-- watching Cat Man
skate around with his verbal shenanigans. The cats perform the unthinkable.
Bravo- he stands at his same location now for 32 years. Rings of fire, the cats leap through.
The sentimental cats, the stars, they have starred and lived whole lives, now passed, new cats come in. Dominique remains the same. Insane laughter, joy, talent--he reals in the crowds each night, each sunset. Always new faces, but past people come back time and time again. 5 years, 9 years, 20 years, 30 years, Cat Man remains at the end of Mallory Square as if no time has slipped away. He is as consistent as the sunset in Key West. Always there bringing life to the pier. He is a spectacle, a joy, there's nothing like it. Moo- Ha Ha
But his heart is so big, his patience so vast behind closed doors, the Cat Man does not fail as his cats prove. He lights up the pier through decades, ages, eras- still the same: Dominique LeFort, you make Key West, Key West.
The magic felt watching and being around you and your precious cats has touched so many people. You are one-of-a-kind. Keep on shining, may you never get tired knowing that you have engraved timeless memories in so many people's hearts and continue to do so. Thank you!
11th-Feb-2016 06:55 pm - Old Faithful
If I breathed, I sat again
along the shallow waters
you were there, but far away, beautiful

When I thought, water spout
in jumbled tangles of masochism
to name it as a phase

just like Old Faithful
air will come again
the causing source of eruption
may time ease the change

Will in time and time again
a drop in the bucket.

When I breathed, I caught and choked
a dream of yesterday
pretty droplets fell apart
down the solid cliff

I sat aside the shallow waters
changing within me
deep wells intervened
and passed along so gently

Tide pools gathered, tide pools left
out to land and land at last
to gather all their pieces
somewhere they were lost,
but somewhere they were found

As I sat, I felt with rage; the tenacity within Old Faithful.

29th-Nov-2015 12:02 pm - Nothing Replaces People
(wrote back in April earlier this year)

You can't go back, you can't turn back now, but you can rest.
You can't relive yesterday, you can't play it all again, but you can play it in your head.
You can hear a simple song, you can play a simple song, you can sing a simple song.
The memories come and go.
The sand withers through the needle hole.
The time quickly elapses for the sand particles,
but slowly for the observer.
I am not you and you are not me, but we and everything is accounted,
and nothing replaces people.
25th-Aug-2015 12:38 pm(no subject)
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Hate-Florida/1263549

This link is pretty much how I feel. My life has been tragic for 3 years now, especially the past one. I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Living here and vacationing here are 2 completely different beasts. Living here makes me want to stab my eyeballs out. I hate it, and I don't even like to complain, but I can't tell you how many jobs want to pay me $8/hr (that's how much I made in highschool in LA) I have a college degree and there are no employment opportunities here. I could have survived in Navarre, FL as a teacher, but being ripped out of that element due to involuntary reasons and thrown into a sh*t hole has been devastating to say the least. People here in Panama City SUCK!!! They are fake, they are rude, they are drug addicts, or weirdos or creeps. I really want to pack my stuff and move NOW. We're gonna see how long this can last for....................... I just want my life, family, friends, social life, support system, normal people, normal places, all that back. It seems like it's been way too long.

Life here is like this:
Everywhere you drive here there is nothing but mom and pop shops with tattered, old, overly detailed marketing. You can't even tell what they do and they are operating in out-of-code buildings from cira 1940. There are homeless people EVERYWHERE asking for money or walking around stoned. There are hypodermic needles in the streets, on the sidewalks, in the sand at the bay. It's disgusting. It's hot, it's humid... you don't even want to go fishing because there are mosquitoes and nastiness, and radioactive particles in the water from all of the bomb testing from the Airforce base. Jets fly over and pierce your ears. The city pretty much encourages you to get on unemployment and pop out babies. Then, those unemployed mothers want everyone to do everything for them. There are so many churches that I think people just go for fun. There are so many ass-anine companies that are non-profit for disorders that just enable people to not want to get to work. For what effort and energy that is put out to run the city seems like it's going to waste and put into all the wrong things to keep the city in a cycle of poverty. There are no corporations which means no job market. And did I mention, you can't even drink the water in the downtown areas. It is known to cause cancer and reproductive issues, which makes sense as to why it comes out the pipes YELLOW. And as to why there are so many disabled people here with discolored teeth, mental problems, and physical abnormalities. How is this place even legal? There is prostitution in the middle of the day outside numerous hotel/motels and hustlers riding around on their bicycle wheels disguised under their ballcaps, backpacks, and Obama phones. Like you're not stereotypical in the middle of the freakin' day......idiots! But they get away with it, obviously. It is like living in HELL. Don't move to Panama City, FL. Don't do it.
24th-Jul-2015 08:54 am - To the GAYs
Here are my thoughts on gay America. I really don't care what kind of backlash I get from my opinion or moral perspective, but this is the Truth. God made Man and Woman (woe-man!, Whoa-Man, Whooo-Hooo!!! There is a person who doesn't get a freaking skin appendage to go between the legs that holds the power to make a baby.) But you know, God made a woman without a freaking skin appendage to intake, nurture, and provide for a human being while it is incubating. Why then do people get so hung up on SEX. Who cares? You either have a male part or you have a female part.

The problem does not lie within the part. The "gay men"; they want to use that part to stick it in places it should not go. And, guess what? Some of the "gay men" want to take it and get rid of it. These are underlying issues of frustration. Frustration can cause a lot of rebellion, especially when one sexually feels one way, but emotionally feels another. There needs to be a wake-up call to not only America, but to gay people everywhere. Being gay is okay. Just understand what you are representing for the gay culture AND Americans when you go do something crazy.

If you really want to make an impression and impact, make an impact on something that is going to actually make a difference. Because you are selfish and you know it. You want to have your cake and eat it, too. And, you do, but isn't there more to life? Get over the freaking Gay Revolution, get over yourselves, and go make an impact in someone's life. No, not that kind of impact.

My last point is ....it's okay to be Gay, but are you sure this is what you really want? Black people in America are still having issues centuries later from the strife caused by slavery. Do you really think Gays are not too? You can be whatever you want to be, you are smart, you are capable, and you are probably really beautiful. Do you really want to be gay, or do you just want to be a human with emotions? I promise you can be both and still be with an opposite gender person. You might be surprised how Happy you could be.


LOVE YOU!
16th-Jul-2015 05:52 am - Wildflowers
Dancing Wildly on the Interstate Loops
In and Out through an Aura
the scented, smoky mountains yelling in my ear.
Telling of a place that is of good cheer.
The fireflies light it up,
ambition roaring from the Cherokee's deep voices
grunting of their time, their place here
-Make It Be Known- The Great Land
of forestry and freedom.
There are so few left, but protected, nevertheless.
Wildflowers.
Hear their call, their flash of wind
dancing in the soul of the mountains.
Screaming with a gentle calamity
-peace be with it.
18th-Apr-2015 09:24 pm - XOGCLP
How do I say this? My dental, "temp" crown feels like it is about to explode. The pressure sux......................... Luckily, I only have 1 more month until I get the real deal placed. Thank goodness.
Second, but not last........ what a day. I woke up with a pounding headache, followed by scheduling stuff, followed by lying in the bed with a cold wet rag on my face- laughing at the visions happening within my ever so cognitive imagination that circumvents realities.
Anyway, moving on to the next thought/idea that I need to express is that: "No"- Nothing else can express for me this one very special experience. I was very fortunate to have witnessed today many series of events. Of course, I'm out for a mid-day/random/spontaneous/need-to-go-now kind of run and I'm moseying along by the seawall where the bay washes up; and low and behold, some crabs catch my eye. As I'm taking a leisurely moment to vicariously live through them, I realize something: I don't have my camera. At this point, I carelessly walk back to the apartment to snatch up my camera. Batteries...SD card: Check. (Words are so important.) Next thing I know I find myself within an effervescent, bubbling-over-the-top paradise. The discovery of "crab world". Crab world is much like our (human) world. There's the "daddy" crab. "Momma" crab... I don't know if I spotted her or not, but then there's all these "baby" crabs. Haha... the funny thing is that I didn't notice the baby crab until the daddy crab moseys on over across the sand, beneath the water, and "tap" there goes a baby crab.... in all its glory and highness. Next thing out of the sand is another baby crab. All of a sudden, all of these baby crabs are just everywhere surrounded in this paradise of oyster shells and hermit crabs. What a scene to watch! I'm telling you at one point I wanted to jump right in the ocean and lurk around in their salty sea, but then my memory card died. I actually sighed in relief because I needed to head out anyway and knew my time was running short. Burger King treated me well and so did this new clothing shop that I stumbled and found. Wow!!!! That's about it for now. Until next time, ladies, don't cross your legs because it causes varicose veins and those suckers are a pain. For real (luckily there's support hose) Lol. K-bye.
Really going to go now....but dang I'm so glad I didn't request this certain crushed glass from today's events. I'm not trying to have ties with the "Wild, Wild West scene" as an elderly lady advises. Not right now, anyway. -Peace-
5th-Apr-2015 03:21 pm - WE Land
If you're reading this, I come to you most humbly in asking for prayer. For if you've found yourself reading the words among and beyond this screen, then you know my heart has been tattered. It has been tattered so much that I cannot even 'publicly' list journal entries. I have experienced loss like you cannot IMAGINE. But through it all, one turns inwardly to the seed to bring forth the garden to share among gardeners, florist, photographers, passer-byers, grave sites, hikers, wanderers, and others both lost and found, including myself. Sometimes I don't know who I am because time has taken me so far away from where I was born and raised. Just like a pieceof pollen being carried away by a bumble bee from one piece of land to the other.

Did you know that the Indians founded medicine, but Americans stole that right from them. Thank you, John Smith. Go read Thomas Hariot's 'A Briefe and True Report of the New Found Land of Virginia'. (and with the word "briefe" which says so much, I don't know whether quotations or underlining would be most suitable. I am going to opt for underlining, because it is not fair to do it otherwise.) The other reading you may find of interest is New Delta Review, Vol. 25, No. 1, Winter 2008. You can order these straight from www.Amazon.com. (Cheap!)-if you prefer paper that is: to support/not support the Paper Mill. Decisions?!. And, if you really want to 'tickle' yourself -find yourself among the old newspaper clippings at your local library or university and compare the routes that Christopher Columbus was said to have taken. Oh, why you're at it- check out the DATES!

If you prefer paper (history) over New Age, a Microfiche is the machine you're looking for to view Microfilms.

If you perefer digital (New Age) over history, then try this site: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/6-places-read-newspapers-archived-news-online/

Either way, among your studies, don't forget to KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid.

I love you All and have a Blessed Day!
~Samantha
20th-Mar-2015 04:07 pm - Reviving Panama
What happens to a Heart Too Big?
Does it burst into a thousand pieces, or does it unfold into a thousand words? I AM is a designer of words, and words are so important, just like the "E" in Me, and the "U" in You, and the "I" in Might, and the "A" in Away, and even the "O" in Moon. As the letters shape the alphabet, and the alphabet spells our names; only the Heart of Life is BIG Enuff- (nuff said) to hold it all together in one circular piece: The Circle of Trust & Life. Whether it's near or far, in front, or behind...The "Why's" don't matter when the Teacher teaches. So Listen-Keenly...with much discernment, but most of all with the heart, but let it be a guarded one led by your powerful mind. Just let it happen and move to the beat of your own drum, because when everybody's beating their own drum at their own little happy pace; the world is a Magical Place. :)
"Stay Positive & Love Your Life" -311
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